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 G-A-Y London Astoria, 157 Charing Cross Road, London WC2. Saturdays 10.30pm-5am Despite Bang! being one of my regular hangouts throughout the 1980s, there was always something about G-A-Y that made my skin crawl with a latent desire to avoid the place at all costs, death itself seeming the preferable option... By the night of my birthday in 1998, however, having decided to pass over the death option for the time being, and after a ridiculous quantity of alcopops, it was decided in the absence of any consensus on which club to go to, that we'd try the one club that wasn't anticipating us. Glossing over the oversized balloons that Peter was running around the club trying to collect, David refusing to join us on stage dancing, and Steve ending up in hospital the next day to replace the tooth he broke in the club - it was his night more than mine anyway, as he was already bleeding profusely as we entered the club, having lacerated his hands leap-frogging sawn-off lamposts on his way through town, and then he had to suffer the indignity of listening to me blub of my undying love for him to the rest of my friends, not knowing he was trapped in the toilet cubicle next to us throughout my confession - nothing about that particular drunken birthday shame endeared me to rushing back to the club. Not even the double-treat of Gina G AND Whigfield doing a PA that night.... Somehow over the next couple of years, financial shortcomings replaced any need for club credibility (staying in was never an option), and on nights when Millie wasn't on the door at Heaven to wave me in, or better yet when I'd won free entry to G-A-Y via the newsletter competition, G-A-Y became my club of choice... And that was how I finally achieved one of my childhood ambitions and got to see The Wombles live on stage! This was when they were going through their gay-scene revival, with cover appearances on Boyz, and all sorts of rumours flying around about Bungo... I also got to see some Eventually, after one too many drunken Fridays at G-A-Y, I could no longer bear the indignity of hearing the same records in the same order week after week, and decided that I owed myself more than Camp Attack, if I was to survive the long winters in London whilst away from the Ibiza club scene, and haven't returned to G-A-Y for over two years now... Having said that, I haven't totally ruled out the possibility, and almost went back just recently to catch Liberty X playing live, but with everyone in London heading there after a rumour that Madonna was planning a surprise PA (which would have worked for me, only I knew that it was going to be Mariah Carey not Madonna), I decided I didn't want to get killed in the crush after all... My biggest regret to date, is not strangely enough going to G-A-Y in the first place, but that I missed Kylie's appearance when I was in Ibiza in 2001 - and then missed her in Ibiza the following week when I had to pop back to London for a visit! Signing up to the G-A-Y mailing list is recommended, just in case you want to guarantee getting in on the night when the act of your dreams makes an appearance, and usually for a reduced price too... It's not all bad at G-A-Y, as if you like cheap booze and good music, there's always Monday night's Pink Pounder, and Thursday's harder house equivalent. Just don't go to Friday Night's Camp Attack, as there's really no excuse.
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